Opinion: young black women and girls should spend less time obsessing over finding a man and more time pursuing their dreams. Yea, I said it.

I've been concerned even more than usual about how obsessed some black girls and young black women are with love and relationships, to the point where they think that finding a man will make their lives worth living. They prioritize pursuing a romantic relationship over pursuing their dreams and it doesn't help that the young guys they're interested in seem to get more and more disrespectful and apathetic each day. 

It also doesn't help that women who are "growner" than them also seem way too focused on finding a man to marry over all the other beautiful things there are to enjoy in life.

I know I might be stepping on some toes with these comments but I don't think I care anymore? I am tired of seeing young black girls playing themselves for boys who couldn't care less about them and aren't giving them back the same energy. I'm tired of the rehashed articles posted every week on black media about how black women should go about finding and keeping a man (yet none of them seem to be helping). And if you've read this blog before, you know I'm all the way over faux relationship "experts" (some who are not even in a solid relationship themselves) wagging their fingers at single black women.

I think that what prompted me to write about this issue was hearing about what happened to the beautiful Porsha Williams (Stewart) of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I haven't watched the show this season, but from what I read she bent over backwards to please her oppressive husband and play the submissive role, yet he still publicly dumped her like some trash put out to the street. She doesn't deserve that.  

And no one ever wants to talk about what the guy may be doing wrong to cause the break down in a relationship.

There are a lot more Porshas out there, hanging on by a string and willing to do or take just about anything just to have the title "Mrs." So I decided that I want to present black girls and women with a different perspective on love and relationships at this blog going forward. If you don't agree that's fine -- there are plenty of other sites that will beat the subject of how to find or attract a man to death, revive it, and then beat it down some more!

Clarification: This is not a "we don't need no man" blog, this is a "yes we need love, but we refuse to let the pursuit of love consume our lives" blog. I welcome guest bloggers who understand this.

This particular relationship blog is about having a healthy perspective when it comes to relationships, and not just with men but also concerning friendships, co-worker, strangers you meet on the street and family members.

My overall message to young black women: love is great love is divine, but if you focus too much energy on finding it, it just might kick you in your behind!

In other words, RELAX. Live your life. Find happiness from within. If an awesome guy comes along in the midst of all of that, cool! Snap him up and live happily ever after together. 

Finding a man and getting married shouldn't feel like a 50-yard dash to the finish line. Slow and steady wins the race.

One last note to young women: men shouldn't complete you, they should supplement your already amazing life.

In the next post I will present to you a list of successful black women who found love later on in life after establishing a platform for themselves.



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