How many couples do you know who are actually in love?



Over the past few months, I've been thinking a lot about the subject of love. If you let the media tell it, black women should be happy to find a date let alone true love. But the truth of the matter is that all women are having problems finding love--some women are just more willing to settle than others.

Why is that it seems that only a small portion of women (I'd say about 10% or less) actually find the one who they're truly in love with. You know, that "Doug and Carrie" "Barack and Michelle" "no matter what, we're going to be together" type of love? Isn't that what God intended?

The other 90% of women seem to be simply going through the motions. They stay with their partners for all the wrong reasons, whether it is a child, money, sex, or afraid of the unknown.

I have many friends of all cultures who are in serious relationships or married. Out of all of them (I'd say about 15), I can only say that one maybe two are in it for love. The rest of them are in relationships of convenience. In fact, it seems as if they despise each other instead. If these couples don't have a problem arguing and carrying on in public around friends, imagine how they are in private.

I also wonder why it is that some of the most loving, beautiful, and caring people don't have anyone special.


Though I know this isn't a black woman-only problem, I speak on love & black women, because that is who I relate to and who I blog about. I have had the privilege of knowing the most wonderful black women who have good hearts, are loyal, and hardworking--and they are gorgeous on the outside too. But still, love eludes them.


Doesn't the law of attraction say that you attract who you are? If so, why is it that I continually watch these women with good hearts and intentions go without finding their true love year after year?

I know that this world isn't always fair, but still I have always believed that what goes around comes around at some point. So when is the good going to finally come around to decent, hard-working, beautiful (inside and out) folks?


Maybe I am expecting too much out of this world? These are scattered thoughts, but tell me what you think as I continue to muse on this issues:

1. What percentage of the people you know who are in relationships are actually in love? 

2. Why do you think it is that good people continue to suffer alone while the uncaring, selfish people of the world seem to thrive and find "so-called love" easily? Is it because selfish types don't worry about standards, so they easily find partners?

3. Is it an overall decline in moral sensibilities and sensitivities among both men and women?

4. Are there simply not enough good men and women on the earth to match up? Are most if not all of the good ones taken?

5. Is love an old, extinct, and silly idea?


I want to hear from you on this issue classy black ladies, both married and single.
Love, Black Women, and Relationships of Convenience


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